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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25591273">Synced cycles</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Querion/pseuds/Querion'>Querion</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Star Trek: Voyager</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>F/F, F/M, Humour</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-07-29</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-07-29</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 05:07:36</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,988</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25591273</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Querion/pseuds/Querion</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>A silly fic about menstrual synchrony among Voyager`s female crew. If you`re disgusted by female cycles, syncing female cycles or captains with cycles, synced or otherwise, then turn back to safer fics, you are not worthy of assimilation! But if you`re okay with all this then read on :)</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Female crew members</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>13</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Synced cycles</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Let me know what you think. I`d appreciate  a kudos too :)</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>Commander, i`m running a bit late this morning. I`ll join you in the conference room as soon as possible.</em>
</p><p><em>Very well, Captain. </em>Chakotay said as he walked towards the turbo lift on deck three to take him to the bridge on deck one. As the commander entered the bridge he was surprised to find an all male crew. He knew Torres was meant to work on the engineering console this morning but she wasn`t there yet. He picked up a padd from the science station which Susan Nicoletti usually manned in the Gamma shift, but she too was not there. Was she...late as well? Chakotay wondered. The turbolift door swished open to reveal Tuvok. He nodded at the first officer and walked towards the conference room.</p><p>Chakotay looked around the various bridge stations and wondered what was going on. He sat on his chair next to the captain`s chair and tapped a few buttons on the console. Seven was not in Astrometrics either. As he wondered what caused seemingly all female crewmen to be late for their various duty shifts, he received a hail from the EMH.</p><p> </p><p><em>Commander, why are you holding my medical staff? There is no one here. My chief nurse isn`t here, so is three quarters of the Alpha shift team. Is there something i should know about? </em>The Doctor sounded irritated to Chakotay. </p><p><em>Hold on, Doctor. That`s what i`m trying to find out and i`ll get back to you as soon as i figure out what`s going on, Chakotay out! </em>The Commander walked from the bridge to the conference room. He could count the departmental heads on one hand. Harry Kim, Tom Paris, himself, Tuvok, Neelix...</p><p> </p><p>The four departmental heads looked up at the commander patiently as soon as he walked in. Tom was the first to talk.</p><p>
  <em>It`s not like the captain to be late for a duty shift?</em>
</p><p><em>Well, she`s the captain. She can do whatever she wants. </em>Harry said reasonably.</p><p>
  <em>That is true, Mr Kim, but i have known the captain for twenty years. This is uncharacteristic of her. Perhaps commander Chakotay will tell us as to what is occurring.</em>
</p><p><em>You are the chief of security. Shouldn`t you be the one to find out what`s going on, Tuvok? </em>Chakotay said, exasperation clear in his voice.</p><p><em>Commander, i already know what is "occurring" to our colleagues. I merely want to know how perceptive you are towards others as part of your responsibility as the First Officer. </em>Tuvok deadpanned in his usual annoying tone. Chakotay felt like punching him in the face but he tempered his ire.</p><p> </p><p>Half an hour later, the female crew were still nowhere to be seen, the male crew were still sitting in the conference room. Chakotay wanted to hail the captain again but for some reason he did not. Tom Paris wanted to hail his girlfriend but he was having too much fun poking Harry with his padd then move the chair out of reach when harry attempted to retaliate. Tuvok was reading a report which Janeway had sent him earlier. He paused and watched the "two Starfleet officers engaged in juvenile activities" for a while with a raised eye brow, then he lost interest and went back to reading the captain`s report:</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Good morning Old Friend,</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I wish it was a good morning for me too but, alas, it is not. I have severe dysmenorrhea. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>It is particularly bad today. So i felt like taking some time off. Please keep me apprised</em>
</p><p>
  <em>of all dealings on the ship. I wanted to tell Commander Chakotay but i feel this is a </em>
</p><p>
  <em>personal matter and i`d rather tell you than him. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Your friend,</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Kathryn Janeway.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Tuvok, what are you reading?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>The captain`s report.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>What report? Where is she?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>The report about her current location. She is in her quarters.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Tuvok, did you know that you are annoying sometimes?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I do, Commander, however, i fail to see why my vexing you is relevant to our "missing" colleagues?</em>
</p><p><em>Shut up, Tuvok! </em>Tuvok merely raised an eye brow at the commander`s verbal outburst then he started tapping something on the padd he was reading, possibly sending a reply to the captain:</p><p> </p><p>Chakotay walked to Tuvok`s chair and started reading the contents of the padd over the commander`s shoulder. Tuvok wanted to roll his eyes but Vulcans do not roll their eyes.</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>ELSEWHERE ON THE SHIP</strong>
</p><p> </p><p> Torres mobilised all the female crew to the holodeck for some relaxation in a simulation of the Bahamas beach while Janeway contacted the EMH of her ailment.</p><p>
  <em>Doctor, please see me in my quarters.</em>
</p><p><em>How can i help, Captain? </em>He watched Janeway lying on her abdomen writhing in pain, her face hidden in a pillow.</p><p><em>Captain, let me examine you</em>.</p><p>
  <em>You don`t have to, Doctor. Just give me a strong analgesic and i`ll be fine. If i was home my mother would have given me one of her home remedies which helps.</em>
</p><p><em>Hmm, Traditionalist mumbo jumbo! I do not understand why you deny yourself modern amenities and modern medic... </em>The Doctor said while waving a medical probe over the prone captain. Janeway felt anger boil within her. She abruptly turned and sat up in bed. She slapped the EMH across his face and dislodged his mobile emiter off his arm. He promptly disappeared and the emiter fell to the carpeted deck. Janeway picked it up and pressed a few buttons on it and the Doctor popped up next to her bed with the mobile emiter on his arm. </p><p>
  <em>...ine! </em>
</p><p><em>Doctor, you have no right to discredit my way of life and my ancestors. I treat you with respect and this is how you repay me?! </em>Janeway was shouting now. She took a deep breath and clasped her hands on her lap. The EMH started scanning her again. He noted low levels of electrolytes, high levels of prostaglandins and low hemoglobin. He tsked at the captain for not coming to sick bay.</p><p>
  <em>I am sorry, Doctor, i misbehaved. I did not mean to strike you, but what you said about my heritage was hurtful.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I am sorry for offending my superior officer, too. It will not happen again. Did you know that all the female crew is off sick? They all have dysmenorrhea. Your periods have all synced, captain.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>What? You mean...</em>
</p><p><em>Yes, you`re all having your menses, you`re all on the rug, you`ve all been visited by Aunt Flo, it`s the shark week, you know, cooking with red curry, that time of the month...</em>Janeway raised her hand up to stop him from saying more. She was laughing so hard by now and the EMH was smiling, happy to cause joy to the captain.</p><p><em>Cooking with red curry? Seriously? You just made that up, Doctor! </em>Janeway said amidst fits of laughter.</p><p><em>Made up? Of course all these names are made up, Captain. Anyway, I have programmed your replicator to give you a strong analgesic which may cause drowsiness. For that reason i have also prescribed two days off. Make sure you drink lots of fluids, water and fruit juice but less coffee. I have also prescribed medication to boost your red blood count. See me in two days for check up. Now i will go to everybody else`s quarters to administer analgesics. Go to the holodeck later, have some fun. I recommend my Bahamas beach programme. You`ll love it. </em>He said while he administered an analgesic to Janeway`s neck.</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>MEANWHILE IN THE HOLODECK</strong>
</p><p> </p><p>B`Elanna Torres had contacted the Doctor about the female crew`s predicament as half of her engineering crew were off sick. How she knew this was beyond the good Doctor`s programming, but having met Janeway and the wrath he suffered, he saw it prudent to grant two days off to all female crew on medical grounds and relaxation on the holodeck. Torres and Seven went to the holodeck to finalise the beach program the Doctor offered.</p><p>
  <em>Lieutenant Torres, the beach programme is beautiful but illogical. Don`t you think that the water will be coloured red with all our blood?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Seven, did the Borg Queen not teach you how to wear tampons?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Periods are irrelevant!</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Actually, they are if you want to reproduce. Do you have periods, Seven?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Unfortunately so. I told the Doctor to remove my period producing organs, but he said i shall need them in the future, when i wish to procreate.</em>
</p><p><em>You don`t say! Well, you do want to procreate, don`t you? I mean, don`t you want to have a little Seven and a half running around? </em>Seven merely raised an eye brow.</p><p><em>Who do you want to procreate with? </em> <em>Ensign Baytart? Lieutenant Chapman? Harry Kim?</em></p><p>
  <em>Is there a special reason you have suggested the three males?</em>
</p><p><em>Is there not? </em>Torres was a bit confused, then it dawned on her. <em>You don`t fancy males at all, do you? </em>Seven raised an eye brow.</p><p>
  <em>I prefer to be with a woman for intimacy and procreation, Lieutenant. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Who do you fancy? Who is your crush? I bet it`s one of the Delaney sisters? Right? </em>
</p><p>
  <em>My "crush" possesses red hair...</em>
</p><p><em>Well, that narrows it down to every female with "red" hair. </em>An eye brow went up yet again.</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>ONE HOUR LATER IN THE CONFERENCE ROOM</strong>
</p><p><em>Commander, should we just report on the departments which are present? It`s more efficient this way. As for the others we`ll just read on their reports. </em>Kim said reasonably, while Tuvok nodded. He wondered whether he should take over Chakotay`s position for the two days the female crew was to be off duty and make Harry Kim the first officcer. Tuvok had been informed of the two days off granted to all female crewmen. The EMH updated him and Chakotay. Finally the commander had figured out what was going on. He scratched his forehead as inappropriate thoughts about the captain popped in his head. He pictured a sexually receptive Janeway lying in bed asking for a massage from him. He allowed himself a moment of indulgence, then shook his head to clear the thought away. Tuvok looked at him with disapproval.</p><p> </p><p><em>Shit! Telepath! </em>The first officer thought.</p><p>
  <em>Harry, report!</em>
</p><p>
  <em>All operation systems are operating within normal parameters, Commander. </em>
</p><p>
  <em>Tactical?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Our torpedo launchers and phaser banks are fully loaded and functional. We are also continuing to conduct drills on the holodeck. We have so far covered all possible tactical scenarios, Commander.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Helm?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>All course corrections are up to date.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>How are our food stocks, Neelix?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>We`re all stocked up, Commander.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Alright then, let`s go to the bridge.</em>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>IN HOLODECK ONE</strong>
</p><p>Music blared from speakers. Crewmen in bikinis and all manner of beach wear were lounging on chairs, others surfed on the water, playing volleyball and eating good food, reading and drinking.</p><p>Janeway sat on a towel under a parasol. She was reading something on the padd and smiled at what she was reading. Torres and Seven were in the water. Torres had tried to teach Seven to surf, without success. Swimming lessons had also been a failure and Seven was getting frustrated. Suddenly she looked at the shore and saw someone sitting under a parasol, reading and smiling. Torres followed the young woman`s gaze and saw the captain wearing a white tee shirt and a baggy pair of black shorts.</p><p> </p><p><em>Hot! </em>Torres thought when she saw Janeway. She noted that other crew members were looking at Janeway, perusing her fatures appreciatively but the Captain seemed to be oblivious to her surroundings.</p><p>
  <em>Seven, who are you looking at?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Someone who possesses red hair...</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Damn, woman. Do you have to pick the tough one?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I am Borg!</em>
</p><p><em>Naturally! </em>Torres and Seven looked at each others and smiled.</p><p> </p><p>THE END.</p>
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